Archive for the 'real talk' Category

TINY DANCER

I went to the chiropractor this week. There were devices that moved and tables on which large men were manipulated spinally by women. The chiropractor pressed my upper spine and it sounded like someone broke an egg in my chest and I gasped and she apologized for startling me. She showed me that my legs were different lengths and then tapped on a spot under my ear and then my legs were the same length. Now I have to learn a different way to sneeze.

I ain’t read Justin Taylor’s new book but this review sounds like Almond dictated it to his secretary while plugging his ears firmly with his fingers:

But novels depend on rising action. Characters can’t just wander and brood. They have to be driven by passionate agendas, and the conflicts between them have to be dramatized.

I mean, this seems so easily disproven that it seems kind of rude to try. I just sneezed and my snot spelled out Beckett and Joyce and carrots. Gross.

I am typing this flat on my back in bed because my back’s all fucked up, did I mention? I wore a back brace for scoliosis when I was a lass and now the promised spinal degeneration has begun in earnest. I heard a story once about a ballerina who had such a strong core of muscle after a lifetime of training that when she grew very old and broke her hip, she could drive herself to the emergency room and walk in on her own power, her muscles holding the broken bone. Nobody believed her until the x-ray. Anyway that’s my goal: to become a ballerina.

AWPED

SUCH BEAUTY.

My favorite parts of AWP included but were not limited to reading at the zoo (stories by Mike and Tim were highlights), reading at the literature party (holy crowd), then putting on my flats and dancing (always dance when the DJ brings groupies), sitting next to Jamie at the JMWW reading and hearing his good news, feeling like I was in many warm rooms with people I love both personally and professionally, saying hello to folks from FC2 and hearing their work, having a great meeting with Emily about the book, hangouts with old friends Tom and Charlie and new friend Amina, getting to know a few very kind and solicitous District residents (though what’s up with your waitresses, really), and seeing old friends from acronyms ASU and TSU and experiencing major hugs with my girls Mary and Lindsay and Jac and Sarah and Wolfe and seeing but not spending enough time seeing Zach and Aaron and Elizabeth and Matt and Gene and Jenny and Sasha and Molly and I missed doing some stuff and did some other stuff and found a cheese plate and there was simultaneously not enough time and far too much time with the cheese plate. Now I’m back home where it’s a temperature that properly sustains human life. As soon as I got back, my body put roots into the ground. I have eaten three tacos in two days and slept 12 hours. Good to see y’all. Back to work, y’all.

Relaxation week theme song

Woman talking to dog under my window

Bad dog. We do not do that. No ma’am. Look at me. Look at me. Sit. Sit. We do not go anywhere until you sit. Sit. Sit. Look at me. We do not do that. Bad. That was bad. Sit. Lie down. Sit. Sit. Now you stop doing that. No, come here. Lie down. Lie down, lie down? Lie down. No, sit, no. No. No. Lie down down. Sit. Lie down. No, sit. Sit. Lie down. Sit. Sit. Lie down. Uh-uh. Lie down. uh-uh Lie down. Uh, lie down. Lie down. Down. No, lie down. We’re not going, uh-uh lie down. Sit. Sit. Lie down. Down. Down. Down. Down? Lie down. No? Lie down. Nope! Sit! Lie down. Lie down. Lie down. Hey, lie down. Sit, down. Lie down. Uh-uh. We’re staying until you calm down. No, no. Nah.

Riled up at the NY Times

This weekend, a Berkeley grad with a heavy deadline spruced up a tired recessionomics trend piece by taking aim at the poors in trade schools.

These people are victims

It’s true that for-profit schools like ITT Tech and University of Phoenix draw big benefits from people returning to school. However, the article rests on the trifecta of incorrect assumptions on not-for-profit schools: namely, that they 1) aren’t gunning for people’s money, 2) don’t profit off federal funding, and 3) aren’t a huge beneficiary of the rise in recession education.

And yes, for-profit schools draw much of their profit from Pell Grants, which are awarded to students with the highest levels of financial need. Ignoring the fact that 89 percent of all independent students receive some form of financial aid and 58 percent receive federal grants specifically, why do the poorest students choose trade schools over four-year colleges and two-year not-for-profit community colleges? Some ideas:

  1. Students might not live near the 1,195 public, independent, or tribal community colleges in the country
  2. Students working full-time may not have access to education resources with online, hybrid, weekend, or night courses
  3. Students may not meet minimum educational requirements for admission
  4. Courses/materials available at not-for-profit schools may not meet student requirements

Holding up culinary arts as a symbol of the failure of for-profit education is a weak choice.  Culinary arts is the slow-moving target of the for-profit educational world, whether or not the training is coming from a for-profit or not-for-profit source. Every one of those quotes (“When they graduate and come in the kitchen, I tell them, ‘I’m going to treat you like you don’t know anything”) could have as easily referred to a culinary arts degree from a community college.

The facts as I see them:

  1. People can train for about a third of the careers on the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Fastest-Growing Occupations list at for-profit trade schools
  2. In a recession, graduates of any school may have trouble finding work
  3. Accreditation is key: if a for-profit school is unaccredited, it doesn’t stand up to the same standards the third-party accrediting agency holds for all schools, for-profit and not-for-profit alike. Side-note, you can’t get federal funding at an unaccredited school
  4. A reporter soliciting his sources from the Career Education Corporation has probably never met anyone who has graduated from a trade school, excepting the girls at the salon where he gets his sustainable organic facials

When I read articles like this, I wonder what the point is. I’m all for fairness in marketing or regulations lowering some for-profit tuition. I’m against increased education standards for trade schools; with an accreditation process recognized by the U.S. Department of Education, standards at trade schools are set at the same level as public schools.

But it always seems that the point of these pieces is the classist sentiment that trade and for-profit students should have reduced access to financial aid or fewer options for accredited training, freeing up cash and resources for those lucky enough to have the means and ability to attend the sunny California school of their choice. In response, I’ll sum up the reaction I imagine from trade school students and graduates across the country: screw you, guy.

We are losing the best minds of our generation to Farmville

Time it should take to consider a manicure, decide you’d rather save the money, go to the store and buy a bottle of nail polish: 1.5 hours

Time it takes Amelia Gray: 7 days

Teak Rose
(not pictured: crushing insecurity)

Five Things happened Friday night. I’m starting to get why having people read more than five minutes becomes appealing from a planning perspective—getting five readers together means all this buildup on the organization side for less than a half hour of listening pleasure. Dunno how the Quickies gals do it in Chicago. (Amphetamines.)

Keeping the time limit is worth it for the feeling of flash. The show featured our contest winners, so it was an extra treat to meet people and see them read at once. A couple of them told me they had never read on stage before, which was nuts with what they brought. After the reading the bands played and a girl danced with a pint of beer balanced on her head.

Speaking of readings, a must-see in Austin: Salvador Plascencia is reading at 7PM, Thurs., Feb 4 In the Joynes Reading Room, behind Carothers Residence Hall at 2501 Whitis Ave on the UT campus. The reading is free and open to the public. Call 512-471-5787 or mvalentine@mail.utexas.edu for more information.




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