Monthly Archive for February, 2011

LOSER

My review of Corey Mesler’s LISTEN: twenty-nine short conversations is out at American Book Review. There’s a snip at Project MUSE.

Yesterday I went to this dance/yoga/pilates fusion deal called PiYo. It was stupid. Imagine moving from plié squats to Warrior 3 with a Justin Bieber soundtrack. Between this and the quackery I’m enjoying three times a week on my spinal column, I’m living out on a limb. I think next I’m going to seek out some banh mi, which I’ve somehow managed to never have despite the fact that it looks incredible. It’s fun to be new at stuff.

I’m missing old friends today.

My girl Sarah is having a baby in California sometime in August and I feel this strong need to be there. It seems much more important than the garbage I’m rolling around in out here. I’ve never felt this way about a lady or a baby before. I’m sure I’d be underfoot. Sarah’s going to be such a good mom. They’re already printing out the certificates for mom-related awards.

I’ve got a small handful of lady friends who are going to be moms pretty soon. I guess it is that time in life. FOR ME TO FEEL WEIRD.

TINY DANCER

I went to the chiropractor this week. There were devices that moved and tables on which large men were manipulated spinally by women. The chiropractor pressed my upper spine and it sounded like someone broke an egg in my chest and I gasped and she apologized for startling me. She showed me that my legs were different lengths and then tapped on a spot under my ear and then my legs were the same length. Now I have to learn a different way to sneeze.

I ain’t read Justin Taylor’s new book but this review sounds like Almond dictated it to his secretary while plugging his ears firmly with his fingers:

But novels depend on rising action. Characters can’t just wander and brood. They have to be driven by passionate agendas, and the conflicts between them have to be dramatized.

I mean, this seems so easily disproven that it seems kind of rude to try. I just sneezed and my snot spelled out Beckett and Joyce and carrots. Gross.

I am typing this flat on my back in bed because my back’s all fucked up, did I mention? I wore a back brace for scoliosis when I was a lass and now the promised spinal degeneration has begun in earnest. I heard a story once about a ballerina who had such a strong core of muscle after a lifetime of training that when she grew very old and broke her hip, she could drive herself to the emergency room and walk in on her own power, her muscles holding the broken bone. Nobody believed her until the x-ray. Anyway that’s my goal: to become a ballerina.

SPAGHETTI AND EGGS

At Big Other, Amber Sparks has a review of Museum of the Weird that I really like because it’s got a good insight that I haven’t seen anyone have yet into how all the characters have a hard time existing. I like thinking about that as I round the bend on this novel. Thank you, Amber.

There is appliance delivery truck outside my window with its ramp down. At the base of the ramp is a cardboard box the size of a dishwasher. Five feet away, in the road, there is a dishwasher lying door-side-up. It looks like the dishwasher tried to escape and fell on its back. I took a picture of it but now that I’ve described it I feel I don’t need to post the picture. A picture might ruin it. Maybe just imagine it, you know?

Yesterday I guest-taught my friend Jack’s high school creative writing class. I don’t teach anymore so I went all out. I said it was time to rap real about creative writing. I showed them one of my favorite Kathy Fish stories. I addressed them as Birds and Dear Students and Dear Birds. One of the girls said that her mother calls her Dove. We did a writing exercise where they picked five words and we were to write about them. They picked basket, funny, dragon, pretentious, hand, bonus word love, and extra bonus title word, unique. They wrote cool stories. I wrote a funny little one:

The man’s hand was resting on the railroad track. It looked like he was gripping the wooden supports between the rails, but the remainder of his body was nowhere to be found. It looked funny to Suzanne, who had never felt love for the man but missed him now that only his hand remained. She picked it up and placed it in her basket. She decided on giving it as a gift to the museum curator she was going on a date with later that night. He was pretentious, and carried a pocket guide referencing dragon sightings in mythological culture, and she did not love him either, but she would try.

I called mine “nothing unique in the world” because the title had to have the word “unique” in it. Their stories were all different — which seems obvious but it notable because the last time I did this exercise with the same age group, many strange elements of their stories were the same, images of fenceposts, for example, unrelated to prompt — and some were about dragons and some were conversations people were having, or titles, and one was about a girl who meets an angel of death. I liked hearing their stories. We talked about how some words are heavy and some words are light, and how it’s fun to make the light words heavy and the heavy words light.

I put water on to boil and added salt to the pot. When the water boiled, I added spaghetti and set the timer for ten minutes. Some people don’t time pasta and I think that’s a fool’s move. After seven minutes, I put olive oil in a small pan and set it on low. I cut three pieces of garlic into thin slices and dropped it in the pan. I let them cook for a minute, then cracked two eggs over and covered the pan. By then, the pasta was done and I poured it into the strainer and then into a bowl. The whites on the eggs were almost set and I turned off the burner and put the eggs on top of the pasta. I mixed it all up and sprinkled salt and pepper on top. The days go by, don’t they?

AWPED

SUCH BEAUTY.

My favorite parts of AWP included but were not limited to reading at the zoo (stories by Mike and Tim were highlights), reading at the literature party (holy crowd), then putting on my flats and dancing (always dance when the DJ brings groupies), sitting next to Jamie at the JMWW reading and hearing his good news, feeling like I was in many warm rooms with people I love both personally and professionally, saying hello to folks from FC2 and hearing their work, having a great meeting with Emily about the book, hangouts with old friends Tom and Charlie and new friend Amina, getting to know a few very kind and solicitous District residents (though what’s up with your waitresses, really), and seeing old friends from acronyms ASU and TSU and experiencing major hugs with my girls Mary and Lindsay and Jac and Sarah and Wolfe and seeing but not spending enough time seeing Zach and Aaron and Elizabeth and Matt and Gene and Jenny and Sasha and Molly and I missed doing some stuff and did some other stuff and found a cheese plate and there was simultaneously not enough time and far too much time with the cheese plate. Now I’m back home where it’s a temperature that properly sustains human life. As soon as I got back, my body put roots into the ground. I have eaten three tacos in two days and slept 12 hours. Good to see y’all. Back to work, y’all.

AWP READINGS

Here’s where I’m reading at AWP:

Thursday, Feb 3, 5:30-7:00 pm.The Big Hunt bar Voodoo Lounge, 1345 Connecticut Ave.
FC2 Author Readings: Featuring Tricia Bauer, Kate Bernheimer, Joseph Cardinale, Jeffrey DeShell, Amelia Gray, Lynn Kilpatrick, Lance Olsen, Elisabeth Sheffield and Rob Stephenson. (more FC2 events)
Friday, Feb 4, 2pm- National Zoo (start at Main Gate)
Reading with Deb Olin Unferth, Alec Niedenthal, Joe Young, Michael Kimball, Stephanie Barber, Blake Butler, Matt Bell, Amelia Gray, Rachel Glaser, Alexis Orgera, Timothy Willis-Sanders. (details)
Friday, Feb 4, 9:30pm- The Black Cat, 1811 14th St. NW.
Literature Party: Readings by Tao Lin, Amelia Gray, Patrick Somerville, party by everybody. (more info)



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