Monthly Archive for May, 2010

One (1) can of creamed corn

Published on May 28, 2010 in Cooking and P.O.H.D.. 2 Comments

A few people have mentioned Tuesday’s #8 to me and so I feel like I should clarify that I’m not talking about (calling out?) anyone in particular. The lower-case thing doesn’t bother me. Also, I wasn’t referring to formal choices in art. I do wonder what it means informally, because writers generally make conscious decisions about things like that even in emails or whatever. Molly said hello in the comments and helped me figure it more. Thank you, miss.

Happy news everyone, I am now the president of hot dogs. Please be advised that cutting your kids’ hot dogs into bite-sized rounds is still dangerous. Slice lengthwise for safety. You can even make a ‘dog octopus.

I have wasted my life

children love this sort of thing

I did a Google image search for “hot dog casserole” and I don’t want to share what I have found. Suffice it to say that I finally know what to do when I have a package of hot dogs, five potatoes, half a stick of butter, a can of creamed corn and an intense loathing for myself. “Screw it, I’ll make a casserole out of salt.”

The President of Hot Dogs

Published on May 25, 2010 in list making, P.O.H.D. and Steve Nash. 7 Comments
  1. Writing a list while soaking my feet in the bathtub.
  2. Yesterday was either the last stand for the Suns or the spark of a fight. The overarching symbol of the game happened when Fischer broke Steve Nash’s nose and Steve Nash pulled it back into place on live television. The world was like, “Eww.”
  3. Check out the sweet pastiches at Love Survives the Bomb. One of them features an axolotl talking some of my words.
  4. Hey you know what I’m glad is over? Lost.
  5. “I swear this life is like the sweetest thing I’ve ever known.”
  6. Going slow through the Wigleaf Top 50. So far my favorite is Kristina Born’s piece at Locus Novus. I like quiet lately.
  7. The Royal Road to the Unconscious
  8. I wonder if people who don’t use caps/punctuation find it to be a symbol of ego? That can’t be it.
  9. At work I’ve been writing Top 10 lists. Top 10 reasons to bury an in-ground pool. Top 10 ways to hypnotize a child. Top 10 celebrity earlobes.
  10. Did you know that there is a National Hot Dog and Sausage Council? It has a president and everything?

Woman talking to dog under my window

Published on May 21, 2010 in it is a mystery and real talk. 4 Comments

Bad dog. We do not do that. No ma’am. Look at me. Look at me. Sit. Sit. We do not go anywhere until you sit. Sit. Sit. Look at me. We do not do that. Bad. That was bad. Sit. Lie down. Sit. Sit. Now you stop doing that. No, come here. Lie down. Lie down, lie down? Lie down. No, sit, no. No. No. Lie down down. Sit. Lie down. No, sit. Sit. Lie down. Sit. Sit. Lie down. Uh-uh. Lie down. uh-uh Lie down. Uh, lie down. Lie down. Down. No, lie down. We’re not going, uh-uh lie down. Sit. Sit. Lie down. Down. Down. Down. Down? Lie down. No? Lie down. Nope! Sit! Lie down. Lie down. Lie down. Hey, lie down. Sit, down. Lie down. Uh-uh. We’re staying until you calm down. No, no. Nah.

Days & days

Published on May 20, 2010 in Cool. 2 Comments

My story “Thoughts While Strolling” is in good company at Alice Blue Review with Brian Evenson, Michael Kimball, and more.

Check out the Wigleaf Top 50, the list I devour slowly every year. I’m happy to see some stories I recognize and love on there, like Stephen Graham Jones’s “Modern Love” and Sean Lovelace’s “To Be Happy.” Honored that two of my stories made it to the shortlist. If you’re looking for places to read and love and send your own stories, the journals on the top 50 are a good start.

Last night I read at the Badgerdog fundraiser, opening for Sarah Bird, who read/narrated a fantastic flamenco-backed piece from her book Flamenco Academy. Our local beauty queen came wearing her sash. She seemed sweet and bought books. The art-supporting community came out strong and donated generously to support writing programs in the Austin area. I developed strong positive opinions about flamenco and olive tapenade.

If you’re in Austin and looking for something to do tonight, come see The Encyclopedia Show. It is going to be a good’un.

If you’re stressed out, watch a video about baby sloths.

Cover day

Published on May 17, 2010 in Museum of the Weird and Zach Dodson. 1 Comment

The UA Press catalog is out, and with it, the cover of Museum of the Weird. The art is by Zach Dodson, who is half of the team at Featherproof and designed everything about AM/PM.

Cover by Zach Dodson

September 2010

(The above is actually the next-to-last draft, which is the last draft I have in high res. Behind the scenes! It smells like bananas back here. Anyway check out the catalog if you’d like to see the final colors, which are pretty much the same but with a black line on the plaque and a slightly deeper sea green in the background.)

Not to get too sentimental about Zach, who is away from the Internet this week because a swimming pool in Arizona was calling, but I really couldn’t be more pleased with the way the cover turned out, and I’m grateful to FC2 for allowing me to work with my friend, who is a genius, and perfectly captured the menagerie feeling of the book. You might think it is difficult to make the distinction between a plate of hair and a trichobezoar, but Dodson makes it simple. I am a factory that produces only excitement.

Annie

Published on May 17, 2010 in Cool and Pictures. Closed

I tried to watch Annie but it kept weirding me out.

Everyday live

Published on May 11, 2010 in Adam Robinson, internet and Interviews. Closed

I took over the factory at Everyday Genius this week. Adam Robinson assigned me five constraints, each of which I completed immediately after opening my eyes each morning for maximum confusion/focus effect. Here are the pieces listed by constraint (please note, each day has an autoplay sound file embedded):

Day 1: Write under the table.
Day 2: Do you have a couch? It would be funny if you tried to squeeze yourself between the couch and the wall. If you don’t have a couch, your biggest chair would do.
Day 3: Standing in the shower, clothed, trying not to be hit with water.
Day 4: In bed, with your head at the other end (if you can sleep this way the night before, too, that would help a lot).
Day 5: While sitting on a small stack of AM/PM.

It is not always fun to write with constraints but the results are sometimes interesting. More info on the project here.  Check over there each day this week and collect ‘em all. Thanks for being so great, Adam.

Interview and a little freewrite up at Dark Sky Magazine. Thanks to Ethel Rohan for the time and questions.

You know what’s cool? Bilingual homophonous poetry.

LIKE A BEE.

Published on May 10, 2010 in Museum of the Weird and Ruth Baller Ginsburg. 2 Comments

The semester is winding down. I finally sent off final, no-fooling final edits on Museum of the Weird. Celebrating by immediately getting waist-deep into a new thing. Also there’s a Five Things on Friday and an Encyclopedia Show on the 20th. Good thing I bought those strawberries.

I spend a lot of time wondering if I am working hard or hardly working. Sometimes this feeling happens after I take ten minutes to look for a good picture of Ruth Bader Ginsburg after reading extensively about her college years.

The Suns prevailed tonight. Tim Duncan tried to remove Steve Nash’s eyeball with his elbow but Nash rose above six hasty stitches because he is a basketball genius and doesn’t need depth perception to posterize a man. I wish I could have gone to the game, if only to finally figure out that you can get arrested for saying YES repeatedly while holding your fist in the air within the city limits of San Antonio. I’ve always suspected.

how you like me now

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